Captured by Pam

words and images by pam wright

Tag: Hope

Captured: Sea Glass

Image

As a child, I loved to collect sea glass. We owned a cottage up at Lakeside, OH on Lake Erie, where I would spend hours upon hours collecting sea glass, organizing it into the various shades of blue and green and brown, marveling at how the water could make the edges so smooth… I continually ran my fingers along the edges, feeling the contours and textures.

Somewhere along the way I forgot about my childhood collection of sea glass…

A couple of years ago, while walking along a beach in S. Korea, I came across a piece of sea glass in the sand. Tears filled my eyes as I was wrenched immediately back to that time of my youth. I remembered that not only was sea glass a part of those endless summer days many years ago, it was also a time when I was formulating dreams for my life… dreaming of the prince charming who would be by my side for ever.

In contrast, as I came across that piece of glass on the smooth sand of Taejon Beach many years later, I realized that so many of those dreams had been shattered just like the piece of glass in my hand. I was going through a very difficult time in my life and that little piece of glass just reminded me of the pain of those shattered dreams.

But, then, just as suddenly, another voice inside reminded me that I no longer need to cling to those old shattered dreams, but rather, I could begin formulating new dreams for myself, dreams based on what God wants FOR me. I put that piece of sea glass in my pocket and I’ve been collecting sea glass again ever since… all the while dreaming.

A student of mine, an apparent angel in disguise, who heard my sea glass story in class, took it upon himself to create a piece of art with my name written in the sea glass that he had collected on vacation in his home country of Greece. He presented that art piece on the day I was forced to announce to the students and faculty at my school that I needed to change my name back to my maiden name after divorce … a very difficult thing for me to do. I was so distraught at having to change my name. But my student walked into my classroom that morning, before the opening assembly on the first day of the new school year, and presented me with his artwork. Having no clue that I was about to publicly announce my name change, I was startled to see that he, instead of spelling out Ms. Arzel in sea glass as I was known in class, had written…

‘Pam’

Image

God spoke to me through the sea glass, through the gift given to me by my student, reminding me that no matter my name, no matter my dreams, crushed or formulating, I am loved, hope remains, and I am treasured.

Just like my new treasure of sea glass.

When each of my daughters married the man of their dreams… the men I fervently prayed for them to find … they each carried a piece of sea glass with them… God has blessed them so wonderfully with the men He brought into their lives… and in many ways, He fulfilled many of my own dreams by blessing them so …

I have often offered a piece of my sea glass collection to a loved one as they venture into something new… the most recent was when I offered a treasured piece of blue sea glass (I only had 2 blue pieces) to my fiancé as he left me… I like that… offerings of love and forgiveness are all we can offer … right? We are called to offer something treasured… especially when it involves love and hope… I gave my heart to this man and I loved him… all I could do is offer a gesture of hope that his dreams come true, despite my own pain at losing him.

It gives me some peace…

Today, I have never believed more in the beauty of sea glass… and how God speaks to me through small pieces of broken glass…

God can take our broken dreams… our rough edges… and He, and He alone can smooth them over with His unfailing love, grace and redemption…

and He can provide new dreams….

… even when the dreams we clinged to so fervently just…

evaporate…

I find hope in sea glass!!!

reposted and updated from http://www.tumblr.com/blog/pamwright24

Captured: Athena

Image

No… that’s not Athena in the photo … that is me… a few years ago…

Yea I know…

it’s kind of something I kept quiet… scared of feeling lame, and pathetic and stupid… But, you know… it happened… it did… why hide it, why pretend… ????

The reason I share this is because I thought of this picture as I caressed my kitty, Athena, tonight as I settled in to fall asleep…

I got hurt a while ago, but I seriously think my cat was hurt worse than I … she was hit by a golf club, thrown against the wall, and so brutalized that she retreated under the bathroom cabinet… never leaving… not even to go to the bathroom… that poor cat was traumatized…

Yea… I was too… I remember one night in a hotel… just my kitty and me… scared to death of being found… scared of not living another day… it was a bad time…

But, that is now in the past…

I watch my sweet kitty, Athena, today… she has responded to love… to my caresses…. to good treatment and straight up love… I hate what happened to her… even more than I hate what happened to me… But, like Athena, I have been loved on too… I’ve been caressed and loved back to healing… not only from the people in my life who love me,  but from a greater love… my defender and the lover of my soul… ah, by Jesus!!! He has loved on me…

I KNOW that God is the greatest healer of all… I know that Athena and I were surrounded by angels on those days of despair, and pain, and unimaginable fear in California…

And, ah, my sweet, defenseless kitty… I know how I felt for my cat on those days… and I can only imagine how my savior felt for me on those same days…

Athena and I are good today and we forgive the one who hurt and scared us so…

Why???

Because he was hurt and scared, too … never, ever think that people who lash out in anger and violence are without hurt and fear themselves! I’ve prayed for this man… I forgive this man… I relate to him and empathize… and I hope that my Jesus is so loving on him!!!

Going to sleep now… remembering and thanking God for love and mercy… I share this not to garner attention to myself, but to share how GREAT is my God!!! He is AMAZING!!  And I love him so much… he who can save not only me, and my cat, but those who hurt us, as well!!!

PRAISE GOD!!

BTW, isn’t this the sweetest song ever?

Listening to it as I fall asleep…

You know, we all get hurt… and yet we all have the ability to heal by the love and grace of our savior … I’m grateful my kitty is alright today, despite what she went through…

… yea… I’m grateful I am too…

Thank you Jesus!

Here they are … Athena, and my puppy, Cosi! Happy at last… we are an AWESOME trio!! =)

Image

Nighty Nite…

Captured: When you feel like a burden

Image

Queen’s Anne Lace… isn’t this photo beautiful?? So delicate… so intricate… so like God to give us a glimpse of absolute perfection that can only be found in HIS creation… He brings it, when we just don’t have a clue!!

I am in a position that I never expected for myself. I am living with my daughter, her husband and her new, 5-month-old (TOMORROW!!!) baby boy!

I hate this! I hate being a burden to anyone… and I know my girl… she would hate to hear me say this… a sweeter, more loving daughter could not be had… she is my jewel… one of 3 beautiful daughters who love me and take good care of me… any one of them would do the same … as would my sons… a greater blessing than my 5 children could not be had…

… but I hate this none-the-less! I hate it so much…

Being humble… admitting we can’t do life on our own sometimes…

I won’t lie… there are moments I wish I wasn’t here… that I wasn’t a burden… I do… tonight is hard…

But, I trust God. I trust that being humbled and humiliated a bit is OK…

It’s OK…. sad as I am… I know it’s OK…

There are seasons in life that are unexpected… that make us look up to heaven and say, ‘Why??? Why, Lord??’ But, I can do nothing but trust and love my God for what he is ultimately doing for me… and in me… and through me….

It will be so good… it will! I know this to be true! I KNOW it! Just, please Lord, get me through this….

Oh my beautiful Father in Heaven that makes such beautiful things like Queen’s Anne Lace… let me learn from being a burden!! Let this time bring GLORY to your name!!

Captured: And they lived happily EVER AFTER!!

Image

Truly… and I say this with all sincerity… there is nothing else like God’s love… I promise, I swear…

Been there, done that… I’ve fallen in love… I had beautiful children that fulfilled me… I have loved. Oh… and HOW I have loved…

I’ve been through everything…

And I promise you… NOTHING compares to what God can offer… to the peace and joy and comfort that comes with loving him!! I promise!! Nothing… Just watch this…

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0F21EFNU

It moves me…

I’ve lived overseas for most of my life… the world is vast… the world is bleeding… the prince of this world is having his way… FOR NOW…

But the PRINCE of PEACE… my savior, my love, my GOD… will prevail… He will crush the one who hurts us all so much here on Earth…

How Great is our God???

Unimaginably GREAT!!

… And they lived happily EVER AFTER!!

I LOVE that… but until that day… I join my brothers and sisters who fight to end, and to champion the things that break hearts…

… ‘break our hearts for what breaks yours, Jesus!’

Hugs to the ones who want to make it better… who want to give their lives for a purpose…

They are heroes!

Captured: Welcome home

Image

Her name was June Temple. She died today…

As quickly as I posted about being a grandmother… and about new life… a life was extinguished… another amazing grandmother left this world, heading ‘home’.

She was a woman who loved God. She gave her life to her family and to missions. Her stories are remarkable and I admire her. I want to live like she lived.

Today has been one of those days… where this world meets the next.

I remember another day much like this…

We were in the Philippines… on a Habitat for Humanity trip, and several students were suffering from food poisoning. One girl was particularly sick, so my friend, Wyatt, and I had to spend the night with her in a small, medical clinic in Manila.

That night, we faced the miracle and the reality of life and death…

Within a span of 12 hours we experienced the birth of a little baby being born just feet from us, and we listened as another man’s life came to an end. We heard fighting outside, and life inside. It was an amazing experience… one that I treasure. We held hands, not out of any romantic attachment, but out of the shared human experience.

Today, I am reminded once again, that life and death hold hands… my little girl felt her baby move for the first time on the same day that my son-in-love lost his grandmother…

Life is never stagnant. It continually moves forward… as should we!

I am grateful for each loss, each renewal, and friends with whom I can hold hands and share life.

Today, June is dancing and singing with the angels. Jesus met her and said, ‘I am pleased… You did well, my beautiful bride…

… welcome home.’

© 2020 Captured by Pam

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑