Captured by Pam

words and images by pam wright

Captured: Make You Feel My Love

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There are lots of reasons why Lea Michele’s cover of one of my absolute favorite songs by Bob Dylan, Make You Feel My Love, is touching me tonight…

The show, Glee, was a big part of my life for a long time… I grew up singing… I was in a Glee Choir much like the ‘kids’ on the show… in Ohio, as coincidence would have it… and I loved the show the minute it came on. When they sang the Journey song, Don’t Stop Believing, at the end of the first episode, I was hooked!! In fact, I wish I could find the link that my kids did for me of the song for Mother’s Day… it was hilarious and showed just how much I loved the show and song…

While living in Korea, I had a ‘Glee’ party every week and other American friends would come to my apartment, we’d fix some kind of snack and we would watch… singing along and laughing at the antics of the characters … It brought me home… to my roots in music and my roots in America… yep, everything I loved.

And then when I learned of the death of Cory Monteith this summer due to an overdose of heroin and alcohol… I was deeply saddened…

I know both sides of addiction… and the pain it causes….

I understand because I have suffered from addiction to alcohol myself and can understand Cory’s pain, but because I watched someone, and cared for someone who I thought would die night after night because of his own addictions, I understand what it is to love and care from someone addicted.

My friend was addicted to so many things, including heroin and ‘benzos’, and I would stay up night after night and count his breaths… knowing that the combination of the drugs and alcohol just basically made someone stop breathing in their sleep… I knew if it got below 7 breaths per minute, I needed to call someone… I became an expert on addiction… I was on the internet constantly, researching… just wanting to know how to help, but no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t seek help…

… I was scared for my friend.

Scared of this world.

… and that’s what happened to Cory Monteith. He was alone in a hotel room with no one to count his breaths… I listen to Lea Michele’s cover of ‘Make You Feel My Love’ and I KNOW there are so many who wish they could make those they love who are addicted KNOW how much they are loved. I’m sure she wishes she could have been there to count his breaths. It doesn’t matter that they were celebrities… they are no different than the rest of us….

So, I hurt for her as well… and I hurt for my kids and other loved ones who wanted me to be well…

However, in the throws of addiction, none of us can ever hear how much we are loved… we can only hear the siren call of comfort found in a bottle, or a pill, or food, or porn, or… whatever it is…

And I KNOW God feels the same for his addicted children … oh, how his heart must break!! He screams that he could ‘make us feel his love’… it’s hard though to hear that still, small voice in the midst of hurt and distractions and the disappointments of this world.

It’s hard!

… there was nothing I could do about the man I cared for. There was nothing my family could do for me… I had to make the decision to stop… He had to make the decision to stop…

I still don’t know if my friend has stopped using … I tried to help and share what I know of God’s love. And I pray for him…

My heart bleeds for those who suffer from addiction and those who love those addicted. It is the work of the devil. It is vile, it is rampant… our whole world suffers from addiction.. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, successful or failing… addiction touches us all… one way or another…

…and there is only one defense… God! He’s the only cure…

Tonight, I will watch the tribute to Cory Monteith on the Glee episode, thinking of the millions of others who suffer from the addictions of this world and those who love the addicted …

in this messed up world that is so perilous to our souls!

And I will be praying…

… praying for the day when Jesus returns and all this can be put behind us… the day when there will be no more pain, no more tears…

… only love… and joy…

… and singing!

1 Comment

  1. “I know the journey seems so long
    You feel you’re walking on your own
    But there has never been a step
    Where you’ve walked out all alone”

    http://youtu.be/le-TG4sRRiQ

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