Captured by Pam

words and images by pam wright

Month: November 2013

Captured: To My Loves and Supporters

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Dear Ones…

In my last post, I wrote that I just really wanted to see the face of God. To feel him hug me.

Well, I realize that I have been hugged by God and I’ve seen his eyes in the eyes of my family, in my beautiful, precious grandson… and through all my loved ones and friends who have been praying and supporting me these past few months.

I want to thank you!

It has definitely been one of the most, if not THE most, difficult times of my life… losing my love, mistakenly relinquishing my job, having to move out of my home… and being adrift for weeks at a time has been more than I could take at times. The stress and uncertainty blinded me, so that all I could see was the pain. Yes, there were definitely moments when I could see the light and I had moments of joy and happiness… that’s a God-thing!

I know that underlying the pain was my faith that it would get better because I trusted God… it kept me going…

… as did your prayers and support.

And it did get better… and far better than I expected a few months ago…. A new life began for me this weekend.

A whole new way of living.

I began writing for WebProNew.com this weekend and I start my new job as a reporter for the Danville Advocate Messenger tomorrow. I am returning to my roots as a journalist and I find that it really excites me. The two publications are very different… for WebProNews, which is a freelance gig, I will cover everything under the sun … it’s more global. And I actually create the post, add the media, etc … it doesn’t go through an editor (that could be bad!! lol!). For the Danville Messenger, I will cover local news… an old-school, traditional newspaper gig. I love that I will have the opportunity to write very differently with these two publications.

This weekend, as I began writing for WebProNews, I realized how lost I can get in writing… time flies. I am engaged! So, I’m thrilled with this new direction in life. And I know each day will be new and exciting covering small-town political news, fires, crimes. I will be able to use my photography and layout skills as well, so that’s just wonderful. I remember my mom, who was a journalist, always had interesting stories to tell when she came home from the job. I look forward to having stories to tell of the people and events for my newspaper, and for my family and friends.

And I’m excited to move down to Danville… a small, beautiful, historic town about 40 minutes south of Lexington. (Voted the 4th best small town to retire to in the US… another bonus!) I’m excited to be a part of a community, once again, returning to my small-town roots.

My favorite Shakespeare quote from Romeo and Juliet (which I taught for years) is ‘But, He that hath the steerage of my course, direct my sail’. Being adrift these past months left me no other alternative but to allow God to have the steerage of my course…. I had to relinquish control. I didn’t know where I would land… and honestly, I never would have guessed this outcome. I’m moving to Danville!! And I know God has amazing things in store for me there. He always does … I’m actually truly amazed at all the experiences and life changes that I’ve had… I never know where I’ll be next!

For those who have asked me if you can follow my writing… here are the links to my publications.

http://webpronews.com/author/pam-wright

Http://www.centralkynews.com/amnews/

Oh, I am blessed.

God has been faithful.

And my friends and loved ones are beautiful.

Captured: Loneliness

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I’ve been lonely of late.

Because of circumstances, I’ve been living with my daughter, her husband and little boy, Riley. I’m so grateful that I’ve had a place to be and I love experiencing the milestones of my grandson… he’s just precious! And I’m grateful that I’ve secured a job as a journalist and will soon be moving into my own place. It’s been hard to humble myself and accept the generosity of my daughter.

Pride has it’s way of confusing the issue.

I’ve also been struggling with loneliness. I watch my daughter and her husband as they finish out the day, talking to each other, sharing their day, planning for the future, and it hits home that I am in this alone…

It feels that way… I feel alone…

Or am I?

I know that I have God… but I’ll be honest. It’s hard. He can seem so remote at times and being someone who just wants to be hugged, His love can seem so distant.

I have to work at knowing I’m not alone. I do. I hate to admit it. But, at night, as I lay down and ponder my day, longing for someone to share it with, I can actually get angry at God…. I want Him to be tangible… I want to see His face, his eyes.

But, that’s not faith. Faith is being sure of something unseen, unfelt, un-tangible…. OH, I cling to faith… I cling to the unseen… it’s so difficult, but I try…

Dear God, help me in my seeking… let me be content in your love… help me feel less lonely…

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